I heard a news item this week that said that research shows that very few of us are getting enough sleep at night. (They defined enough as 7 1/2 to 8 hours of sleep. They obviously left teenagers out of the poll because their 12 hours of sleep would have skewed the results.)  I think they said that on average people in only three states actually slept that long. I forget which states they were but I'm sure Michigan must have been among them because what else is there to do in Michigan?  Oh, lighten up, that's a joke....

That got me to thinking again about the command we dealt with this past Sunday in our 10 commandment series on taking a Sabbath rest.  Since we're looking at the positive force of these commands, we said that God has made us in such a way that we need this work/rest cycle built into our lives.  God exemplifies that for us at creation (6 days of work, one day or rest. Now God didn't need a nap after all that work, or time to recoup, but he establishes that kind of cycle for us that do.)  I think what he's saying is this: if you want to feel rested, want to live stressless lives (hey, God created everything, he can create new words--stressless.), if you want to remain connected with Me, if you want to enjoy life to the max, then you're going to build this same cycle into your existence.  Work six days, rest the 7th. 

And if that's true, if that day is really that important (and why wouldn't we think it was, all the other commands seem pretty important), then is it any wonder that we are so ridden with anxiety; so stressed out/burned out/petered out; feel so disconnected from God; feel so disconncetd from our families since we tend to fill every single moment of our lives with stuff to do.  Is it possible that a lot of the reason we're sick or exhausted or losing touch with the people we love is that we have lost sight of this principle--one day a week that is used for connection with God and others, for refreshment, restoration, fun and just plain r...e...s...t.  If there are consequecnes for stepping out of bounds on the other commands, there are certainly consequences for this one too.

I'm going to devote the next blog to how to keep a sabbath, and I think you're going to be very relieved that I'm not very legalistic about this, in fact this is more like giving you permission to take it easy.  And some of you are already trying to negotiate the idea away (why do we resist this so much?  You should be falling at my feet thanking me for such an idea...okay, falling at God's feet and thanking him, it's his idea after all.)  Someone wanted to know if you took shorter periods that added up to a full 24 hours during the week or averaged that per month. Go back to the research about sleep--I'm pretty sure it didn't count as a good night's sleep if you took it in hour increments, or cuaght up at the end of the month. It just seems to me that's there's something about that chunk of time that's important.

Why not give this a try and see if it works?  Yes, it may require that something drop out of your life.  This isn't just another thing to put on your to do list.  This goes on your don't do list.  Put it on your calendar first, draw a big block around the day, don't let anything intrude on it. then fill up the other days as much as you want. And don't just substitute one kind of work for another. I'm telling you, this is a vital part of our emotional, mental, physical relational health that we have missed out on and have suffered because of it. 

I now give you permission to rest!

I'm sitting in front of the idiot box (as my late father in law called it) last night watching...well, I'm watching the figure skating men's short program. Yes, I like this, but I'm also flipping back to the Suns game against Memphis, so don't get too worried.

Anyway, I'm watching the best in the world do what they do (triple bow wows, quadruple bow ties, I know all the lingo!) and almost without exception at some point in their program, each one of them falls down.  Now some of these guys have been doing what they're doing since a very young age, and I imagine they've done more triple toe loops than they can shake a stick at without falling down, but, ouch, there they go again.  That's gotta hurt.

But here's what really amazes me about this, and I was talking to someone the other day while watching the pairs competition...yes, I watched the pairs skate as well...and we were talking about how amazing it is that after they fall down they don't just skate over to the side and sit down.  I'm pretty sure that's what I would do. Think about how discouraging that is, how defeated you'd have to feel.  But these guys get up off their frozen butts, and get right back into the program.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect; but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting that is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  That's what Paul says in Philippians 3:12-14.  I think he must have been a figure skater. 

Face it, we're going to fall a lot on this journey with Jesus. We're going to sometimes be on our butts (wow, I've said that twice now!) more often than we're on our feet at times. Lots of failures, lots of mistakes, lots of times wondering whether it's worth it to get back up. But Paul is telling us not to be defeated by those times.  We don't have to despair because we've fallen, God doesn't reject us just because we're on our...well,, three times may be pushing it...backsides. It's all part of the process. It's part of growing, of becoming more like Jesus.  Too often we allow the guilt of our failure to cripple us, to derail us.  Paul says, "Let it go." Confess it, repent of it, recognize it for what it was, learn from it,  and then put it behind you and press on to the finish line.

I imagine that when  skater goes down, there's a big ole voice in his head saying, "Just stay here. Why get up again? You're just going to kiss ice again. Cut your losses and get out of the rink." Don't we hear a voice like that when we fail? The enemy wants us to give up, to deaden our hearts.  But Paul reminds us that falling down is a normal part of this becoming like Jesus thing. It's part of the race. A song from a few years ago said, "we fall down but we get back up again."  Put the past behind you, and set your eyes on the goal, the prize, an eternity of life with Jesus.
BTW, the Suns beat the Grizzlies. 

I think I mentioned in my last blog that I'm reading John Ortberg's book "It All Goes Back in the Box." And I don't want to talk about too much because this is going to be the springboard for our men's retreat in April.  But I'm being driven by a deeper need--to share the conviction! Yikes, he's hitting where it hurts! And I don't want to be the only person squirming, so welcome to my guilt!

Two stories from this chapter on Prevent Regret that you need to read.  Here's the first: "When my son John was very small, he loved to play with machines and gadgets by the hour. One day, when he was three, he had been working with a tape recording for an hour or so. Finally, he looked up at his mom and said, "Mom, you know what the trouble with life is?" "No, I don't. What's the trouble with life?" "Then a three-year-old boy sitting on the floor, who had thoroughly reflected on both Fisher-Price technology and the condition of human existence, made one of the most profound observations of life I have ever heard: "The trouble with life," he said, "is that it doesn't have a rewind button."

The point Ortberg is driving home in this chapter is that we need to ask ourselves what we're doing (or not doing) with our lives now that could lead to deep regret?  Are we focusing on what's really important? Will we wake up one day and wish we had invested more time in things that really matter?  Will we wish that life had a rewind button?  Now that's pretty thought provoking (a euphemism for guilt producing) by itself, but he drive sit home with this story:

He talks about Scottish writer and historian Thomas Carlyle, who had married his secretary, Jane Welsh.  "She was highly intelligent and attractive, and she continued to serve as Carlyle's secretary after their marriage.  Sometime later, Jane became ill. Carlyle, sho was perhaps not tempted too much by money, was deeply devoted to this work. He did not seem to notice his wife's will health much. He was absorbed in what he was doing and allowed her to continue working. But she had cancer; eventually she was confined to her bed. Although Thomas truly loved her. he found he did not have much time to stay with her or much attention to give her.

After several years, Jane died.  The day of her funeral was stormy; hey carried her body to the churchyard through the rain and mud. Carlyle later returned to a house that was suddenly shatteringly empty. He went upstairs to Jane's room and sat in the chair next to her bed, the chair he had had so little time for. He noticed her diary lying on the table next to her bed. He picked it up and began to read. On one entire page she had written a single line: "Yesterday he spent an hour with me and it was like heaven; I love him so."

See why I wanted to draw you into this? Conviction loves company!  But the warning is pretty clear isn't it?  There are no rewind button's on life.  Are there ways you're living your life right now that someday you're going to wish that you had done it differently?  And maybe the followup question is harder still--are you willing to make the necessary changes that will allow you to avoid regret later? 

Any guys still want to go to the men's retreat?

Unfortunately, I didn't get to see Avatar in 3 D.  Honestly, I'm not sure I've ever seen any movie in 3-D, which is sad to say and I've probably horribly embarrassed my kids.  So I didn't think much of it when we decided to go to a non-3-D showing about a month ago.  I enjoyed the movie, and as great as the special effects were sans the glasses, I went away thinking, "I can see the difference that 3-D would have made in that flick.  The flying scenes? (I heard someone got  little queasy on those rides) And when he touches the plants in the jungle and they immediately fold up? Lots of places I thought the 3-D perspective probably would enhance my viewing of the film. 

I thought about that today when I picked up John Ortberg's book "It All Goes Back in the Box." About how seeing things from a different perspective can give us a better understanding of what's really going on.  Ortberg uses playing board games as his analogy, particularly playing Monopoly as a kid with his aging grandmother who had no pity on him just because he was a kid (sound familiar, Ann?)  When he finally beats her, he wants to spend a lot of time relishing the victory, maybe bronzing the board to commemorate the act.  But all his grandmother says is, "Okay, now it all goes back in the box."  

Can you work this out? At the end of the game, does it really matter who wins or loses, because it all goes back in the box?  At the end of the game, what's really important?  If we could develop that perspective on the game of our existence--hey, at the end, it all goes back in the box, all the achievements, all the things, all the status, all the money, even all the losing, all the pain--if we could get that eternal perspective, the eternal 3-D so to speak, how would it change the way we look at what's important in our lives?  I've got to believe that how we invest our time, heck how we invest our very selves, would change if we caught just a glimpse of that.  What is it that I consider so important right now that one day is just going to go back in the box?

It's old, but it's poignant--no one ever says on their death bed, "I wish I could have spent more time at the office." 

Anyone up to seeing Avatar in 3-D?

I was catching up on my reading from Harvard the other day....ok, John Berkshire sent me an article about this study done at Harvard, but doesn't it sound much more impressive the other way?  Anyway, back in the late 1930's, researchers began following 268 men from their early college days at Harvard through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood and old age, in an attempt to determine what it was that made us happy and fulfilled.  Make sure you're sitting down, because the findings are going to shock you.  Here are some of the results that they've determined from following these men (one of whom was John F Kennedy) for the past 70 years or so:

     That money does little to make us happier once our basic needs are met, but faith and marriage do lead to happiness (or it could be that happy people are more likely to be married and spiritual [isn't that the same thing?])

     It talks of the power of positive emotions: awe, love, compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, joy, hope and trust [hmmm, there's sound vaguely familiar...]

     It also said about positive emotions that gratitude and joy over time will yield better health and deeper connections, but will in the short term put you at risk. That's because that, while negative emotions tend to be insulating, positive emotions expose us to the common elements of rejection and heartbreak. [We've talked a lot about the risk of connection, but the study is suggesting that the benefits far outweigh the risk.  This is why speaking the truth in love goes a long way to deepening our friendships.]

    [Maybe you better sit down for this one, it's a shocker!] The only thing that really matter sin life are your relationships to other people. [Let that sink in for a moment--then take stock of what your life looks like compared to that truth.]

     You can say a lot of general things about these data that you could never say before, but many of them are relatively shallow. People who go to church report more joy, but if you ask why, we don't know.  [Again, I say, hmmmm....]

     [And here's the last thing]  To illustrate his [one of the researchers] point, he told the story of one of his "prize" Grant Study men, a doctor ad much loved husband. "On his 70yh birthday, when he retired from the faculty of medicine, his wife got hold of his patient list and secretly wrote to may of his longtime patients, "Would you write a letter of appreciation?" And back came 100 single spaced, desperately loving letters--often with pictures attached. And she put them in a lovely presentation box covered with Thai silk and gave them to him. Eight years later, the researcher interviewed the man, who proudly pulled the box down from the shelf. "George, I don't know what you're going to make of this, "the man said as he began to cry, "but I've never read it."  "It's very hard, "the researcher said, "for most of us to tolerate being loved."

I wish you could read the long pause between this sentence and the last as that washes over me.  It's very hard for most of us to tolerate being loved.  There's lots of ways that our sin nature has deamaged us, lots of lies that we have bought into about what our lvies are to be about.  The results are that we have elevated things that are relatively unimportant in the long run to priorities in our lives, while avoiding the very thing that has the power to bring real happiness and joy--deep, loving, compassionate friendships. But this is exactly what we're called back to as part of the family of God, to form intimate relationship with our fellow believers because its there and there a lone that we can experience the life that God has for us.  That's what we're after here at Oasis, we think it's what God originally made us for.